ALL THE NEWS THAT'S FIT TO PRINT
AND SOME THAT AIN'T
Howdy folks! This here's ol' Pete and Rosebud comin' at you again!
Yesterday was my birthday. I ain't sayin' how old I am, but you can look at me and tell I ain't no spring chicken. I wonder sometimes if I've ever been young. You know how people will be talkin' about somebody and say so-and-so's got a good turn or they've got a real sweet turn? Or do they even use that word "turn" any more? Prob'ly not, but it don't matter. People never said that about me nohow. I remember grown-ups talkin' about me when I was a young'un. People will say things about a young'un with him standin' right there. I remember one time this feller happened to look right at me and said somethin' about how that one-meanin' me-has a real earnest turn to him. What's that even mean, anyway? I didn't have no idea at the time, but it bothered me. I've got a uncle named Earnest and for a long time I thought that's what he was meanin'. Y'know, that I was turned like my Uncle Earnest.
I got to talkin' to my mule Rosebud about that one time, about what it was like when I was a little young'un. Me and her is a lot different in how we look at things, y'know. And it ain't just her bein' a mule either. I guess that's got somethin' to do with it, but most of it's 'cause she's got a whole different turn from me, a whole 'nother way of lookin' at things.
Now there ain't no fangers pointin' goin' on here. You can't say one person is too serious and ort to lighten up a little or that another'un is too flighty and ort to take things more serious. I don't think people can help bein' the way they are about things like that. They're born with it. Some people is short and some is tall. Some people is brown haired and some is red headed. Some is born serious natured like me and some is born laughin' and teasin' and carryin' on. It ain't nothin' we do. We get it from our mamas and poppas.
Me bein' the serious natured soul that I am, I got to thinkin' about that one time. Us earnest people are like that, you know, always thinkin' about somethin'. Anyway, this time for some reason I got to thinkin' about ol' Adolph Hitler. He's the one that started World's War II, you know. He got millions of people killed before they got him whupped and the war ended. It was a terrible thing. One time, he had the subways flooded and drownded thousands of his own people-wimmen, old people and young'uns-that was hidin' down there, just to keep soldiers from the other side from using the tunnels to get in the city. Where would you find somebody that'd say a good word for a monster like that?
But, once upon a time, he was a innocent little baby. What did people think about him when he was a little feller? What did they say about him? Was he serious natured? Or was he happy and smilin' at everbody that come around? What? Most likely, he was just like any other little'un. Everbody starts out purty much the same. Bein' one way or the other won't make you a saint or a devil either one.
Lookin' at if from another side, let's take a good person, somebody like George Washington. What was he like when he was a young'un? We know that he whacked down his daddy's cherry tree and then owned up to it, but not til after he was already caught. People are a lot more likely to fess-up to somethin' after they're caught than they are if they don't get caught. And what else did he do? Did he climb trees wearin' his Sunday-go-to-meetin' britches? Did he sneak cookies out of the cookie jar when his mama wasn't lookin'? Would he cheat on a 'rithmetic test? What was he like?
Like I said, it don't make no difference. Some people is real rambunctious when they're little and some is real quiet. It don't mean they're gonna be good or bad when they grow up. What it does do is tell you how they're prob'ly gonna look at the world around 'em. Some people will see flowers growin' on the side of the road and others will see weeds. Some will wonder if the flowers smell good and others will worry that they've got stickers on 'em. Some people will want to pick a bokay and others will want to get away from 'em 'cause they're afraid they'll make 'em sneeze. But that don't make one of 'em better than the others. It just makes 'em different.
So, what's the point here? Well, I guess if you get right down to it, there ain't no point. You prob'ly ain't never set around thinkin' about this kind of stuff like I do, but that don't mean nothin' either. It's just the difference between me and you. I look and see one thing and you look and see a whole 'nother thing. And that feller livin' over there across the creek, he sees somethin' different from both of us.
I don't know about him, though. He is sorta strange.
You can contact Pete and Rosebud by email at