ALL THE NEWS THAT'S FIT TO PRINT
AND SOME THAT AIN'T
Howdy folks! This here's ol' Pete and Rosebud comin' at you again!
Me and my mule Rosebud and Cousin Denver is gettin' ready to take us a little trip here in a day or two. Well, it ain't no little trip. We're fixin' to go to that Dizzyworld place down there in Floridy. I don't know why they call it that. Maybe 'cause they've got all them rides and stuff and you get dizzy ridin' 'em. Rosebud and Denver is purty excited. I guess I am too, a little, but not as much as they are. I like goin' places, but I can't help but be a little uneasy about goin' all the way to Floridy. I ain't never been that far away from home before. The furthest I've ever been was back when I was a young'un when Mama and Daddy took us all to see Uncle Claude's family.
I was layin' there in bed the other night and got to turnin' it over and over in my head and like to never got to sleep. I got to thinkin' about all the things that can go wrong on a long trip like that. I know you ain't s'posed to do that, worry and get your head all in a dither. You're s'posed to be happy about gettin' to go somewheres. But I can't help it. What if we get out there in the middle of nowhere and Denver's truck breaks down? I reckon it's in purty good shapehe's been tinkerin' with it for two or three days, gettin' it ready to gobut it's still a old truck. It's the only one he's ever owned and it was older'n him when he got it. Shoot, he'll be able to sign it up for social s'curity in a few more years.
On the other hand, Denver's one of them people that can fix about anything. He can take a piece of rusty ol' bailin' ware, a pair of pliers and a wad of bubble gum and fix a airplane so's it can fly. So even if the ol' truck did break down, there ain't no doubt he could fix it. But who wants to be broke down? What if it happens on one of them interest-state highways where everbody's goin' a hunnert miles a hour? You're liable to get run over while you're workin' on it. Call me a worry wart, but it bothers me bein' on them roads where all the cars and trucks is whizzin' by so fast. I can't help it.
I told 'em that if I was goin' we was gonna have to stay on reg'lar roads. They tried talkin' me out of it, said it'd be so much quicker on the interest-state. Even said it'd be safer on the big four-lane roads than on the reg'lar roads, but I just don't see it. People drive way too fast on them four lanes. No, the only way I'm goin', I told 'em, is if we stay on reg'lar size roads. They finally went along with me, but they was both 'noyed at me, specially Rosebud. She pouted half a day, but sometimes you've got to take a stand about things.
Denver's been fiddlin' with the truck, changin' the oil and whatnot, and Rosebud's been gettin' everthing ready that we're gonna need to take with us. We figgered we'd camp out along the way. We decided that'd be better than tryin' to stay in them motels they've got. I ain't been in many motels, but I figger most of 'em is purty costly and I can't see throwin' a lot of money away just for a place to sleep. I don't know how much it'd cost, but prob'ly ten or twenty dollars a night. That's a lot when you can pitch a tent somewheres for nothin'.
Besides which, if they're anything like them we went to up in Arkansas, they get all uppity when you bring a mule in with you. That's what happened when we was gonna stay in one up there. Rosebud opened the door and acted like she was gonna come in and the clerks all started squawkin' and runnin' around like a bunch of scared chickens. You'd think somebody had throwed a snake on 'em. I don't know why people want to act like that, but it about halfway makes me mad. I know she's big, but Rosebud ain't gonna tear up nothin' and she wouldn't hurt a fly. The way I look at it, if a place ain't gonna take my mule, it ain't gonna get my bizness neither.
Anyways, we didn't have no argument about campin'. Rosebud and Denver both likes to camp out just for the fun of it. It ain't somethin' I'd do for fun, but if it's gonna save money I'm all for it. I ain't put a pencil to it, but I reckon it could save us upwards of a hunnert dollars on the trip there and back.
That'd prob'ly pay for a lot of rides at Dizzyworld. I don't know how much them Dizzyworld rides cost, but most of the rides at the carnival that used to come to the county fair when I was a kid was about a dime apiece. Maybe some few was as much as a quarter. So, even with everthing goin' up the way it has, they prob'ly ain't no more'n fifty cents to a dollar apiece now. I doubt if they'd be any cheaper than that, but even if they're a dollar a apiece, that's a lot of rides you could get for the money you've saved. I don't know how many dollar-rides you could get for a hunnert dollars, but it's got to be a lot. However many it is, it's that many that you wouldn't have if you'd spent the money on a place to sleep.
I just hope we don't run into no trouble. I know they prob'ly ain't nothin' gonna happen, but thinkin' about all them things that could happen sorta bothers me. That and thinkin' about bein' cooped up in the cab of Denver's truck, settin' all scrouged up between him and Rosebud for ten or twelve hours at a stretch. That bothers me a little bit too.
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