ALL THE NEWS THAT'S FIT TO PRINT
AND SOME THAT AIN'T
Howdy folks! This hereís olí Pete and Rosebud cominí at you again!
Me and Rosebud went down to Silasís general store down there at the crossroads the other day and that bunch of fellers that sets down there on the porch swappiní lies all the time got to talkiní about how gas prices was goiní up. Now, ainít that a síprise! I never wouldíve thought that gas would go up! Not with all of this cronie-virus stuff thatís been goiní on and got everthing in the world turned bottom side uppards!
Yeah, you know Iím pokiní fun at them fellers, but the truth is I didnít know nothiní about gas a goiní up till I heared íem talkiní about it. I donít keep up with stuff like that. Rosebud does. Ever since she got that computer, she gets on that innernet thing theyíve got and stays on top of whatís goiní on. Iíve allus took that newspaper they put out once a week over there in town but it ainít never got nothiní in it about no gas prices. If you want to know what Aunt Marthy and Miss Hazel Ann has been up to over at the liberry, well, thatís your paper. It might even have the price of groceries at that big super market in town, but I donít never buy nothiní from over there. Anything I need, I get it at Silasís store.
But speakiní of not buyiní somethiní, have you got any idea how long itís been since Iíve bought a gallon of gas? I mean, what am I gonna do with it? I ainít got no car or pickup truck and mules donít use gas. So it wouldnít make me no difference if gas prices went as high as a dollar a gallon.
How much does gas cost these days anyhow? The last time I bought any gas was on that trip me and Rosebud and Denver went on to the Grand Canyon. I donít remember how much gas cost back then, but a right smart bit. It seems like it took almost five dollars to fill up Denverís pickup. And that was so long ago the canyon was still just a gully so I figger itís higher now than it was back then. Everthing else is higher so I donít know why gas would be any different. But, like I say, it donít make no difference to me if it goes up to a dollar a gallon ícause I ainít gonna buy none nohow.
Iíll tell you the ones that it really hurts. The workiní family thatís got jobs and the man and his wife both has to drive into town ever day to go to work. Yeah, themís the ones thatís gonna get hit hard by the high gas prices. Theyíve got to buy gas to get to and from work ever day. Me and Rosebud ainít got to go nowheres. We grow everthing we eat right here on the place. We can park our carcasses up here under a shade tree and not go nowheres if we donít want to, but the workiní man ainít got no choice. They have to scratch up enough money to pay whatever the price is set at.
Yeah, that olí cronie virus has really done a number on workiní people. I mean, besides them it killed, it put a lot of other people outta work. I know the govíment sent out them checks and that helped some, but as soon as the poor olí workiní man got two nickels in his pockets, the prices on everthing went to shootiní up. I guess we ort to of figgered it would. Ainít that how it works? It seems like itís dang nigh impossible for a pore man to get ahead.
Still and all, I guess times could be worser. Even with the shutdowns and all, times ainít as hard up here in the holler as they was two or three years ago when they shut down the sawmill up here in the holler and laid all them people off. Even with everthing thatís happened, thereís more people workiní now than there was then. A lot of people had to go back to pickiní crops just to sorta get by.
But I donít know why I got off on this olí covid and gas price bizness to start with. Like I done told you, the price of gas donít affect me and Rosebud up here in Gump Holler. Itís kinda like Uncle Elmer and the speed limit. I donít know if you remember my Uncle Elmer, but he had this ol truck and he got up a load of fellers from up here in the holler and they was goiní to the orchards over there in Georgie to pick peaches one year. He had a whole truck load of fellers on there and one of íem was settiní up there in the cab of the truck with him and was readiní all of the road signs as Uncle Elmer drove along. He come to this sign and read it out to him: ďSpeed limit 60 miles a hour.Ē íCourse it didnít make no difference. Uncle Elmer wasnít never knowed to drive that fast nohow.
ďWhat?Ē Uncle Elmer asked. ďWhat was that you said?Ē
ďThe speed limitís 60 miles a hour,Ē he told him.
Uncle Elmer thought about it a minnit and then frowned, stuck his head out the winder and hollered at the men ridiní in the back of the truck. ďHey! Yíall fellers try and hang on back there,Ē he said. ďIím gonna try and make this here dad gummed speed limit.Ē
And thatís the way it is with me I reckon. Iím still tryiní to make enough money to buy some salt and bakiní powder. And if me and Rosebud ever get up to where weíre makiní as much as the minium wage, weíll be flyiní high. But there ainít no danger of that. We ainít gonna do it, but it donít matter. I donít know what weíd do with it if we did.
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