ALL THE NEWS THAT'S FIT TO PRINT
AND SOME THAT AIN'T
Howdy folks! This here's ol' Pete and Rosebud comin' at you again.
Last time I was tellin' you about when me and Rosebud and Denver spent the night in a motel in Arkansas. We was ridin' in Denver's truck and about the time we got to the state line, it got dark and started rainin'. And since the windshield wipers didn't work, we thought it'd be best if we stopped and got a room for the night. Which was fine by me since I'd been scrouged up between Denver and Rosebud in the truck cab all day and I was already wore out. Anyway, we was a little ways across the line in Arkansas when we seen this lit-up motel sign. I told Denver to pull over but to stay in the dark so they couldn't look out the winder and see us.
What it was, I didn't want 'em to see Denver out there in the truck and get spooked. I mean, me and Rosebud's used to him, but the ol' boy's ugly, almost scary ugly. I was afraid they might not want somebody that ugly in their fancy motel rooms. But there wasn't no use embracin' him if I could help it, so I decided me and Rosebud would go in and get the room and come back and get him. I mean, ugly don't rub off, so what them people in the motel didn't know wouldn't hurt 'em.
Me and her got out and made our way around to the front door. I pushed it open and Rosebud started in. I was right behind her. But they must've seen us pullin' in or somethin', 'cause the feller behind the counter started hollerin' that if I thought I was gonna bring somethin' like that in his motel, I had another think comin'. Pore ol' Denver. I mean, he can't help it. Ugly sorta runs in the family. His side of the family.
Well, me and Rosebud talked it over and decided we needed a plan. If one motel was like that, they'd prob'ly all be the same way so we'd split up and fake 'em out. Her and Denver would go in first and get their attention. I'd give 'em a few seconds, slip in behind 'em and get us a room from the other clerk while they was tryin' to get rid of Denver. He might get embraced, but it couldn't be helped. And it ort to work.
It would've worked, too, if nothin' hadn't gone wrong. The second motel had one of them revolvin' front doors. You know, the kind that goes 'round and 'round, and Rosebud couldn't get through it. She was still tryin' to get in and Denver didn't even notice she wasn't behind him. Well, I scooted on in and got to the counter about the same time Denver did. And then somethin' strange happened. They didn't even flinch at Denver's looks. They gave him a room too.
Now we had two rooms. Course we didn't need but one so we decided we'd give one of 'em up. And there wasn't no doubt in my mind about which one that'd be. Any room they'd rent to Denver, well, there had to be somethin' wrong with it. We'll give up his room. But Rosebud, bless her heart, wants to see 'em both so we can take our pick. Okay, fine. I've been squished-up between her and Denver all day, but by all means let's check 'em both out. Lord knows I ain't got nothin' better to do than compare motel rooms for half a hour.
There wasn't much difference between 'em. The first'un we looked at, the one they rented Denver, had two beds. I wasn't crazy about that. I'd druther have three but, okay, I'll stake my claim on one and Rosebud and Denver can fight over the other one. Either that or one of 'em sleeps on the floor. It had a inside toilet, one with runnin' water and all, and that was nice, specially with it rainin' like it was. I wouldn't have to get wet goin' outside to the toilet.
I didn't much like the other room even if it was the one they'd give me. For one thing, it didn't have but one bed. It was a big ol' thing, twice as big as a reg'lar bed, but there wasn't but one of 'em. I wasn't about to pile up in the same bed with a mule and Denver both. It had a inside toilet too, and the TV was a lot bigger than the one in Denver's room. And that big TV was the deal clincher for Rosebud and ol' Denver. They thought it was the finest one they ever seen.
So we kept the room they give me, the one with the one bed and the big TV. Rosebud and Denver set up half the night watchin' whatever was on. I don't know what time they finally come to bed but it must've been ten or 'leven o'clock. But I was asleep in ten minnits. I've always been a sound sleeper.
And it's a good thing I am, too, 'cause I woke up on the floor the next mornin'. One of 'em shoved me outta bed some time durin' the night. Don't know which one it was, but it didn't wake me up so I guess it was okay. Once I'm asleep, there ain't much that bothers me, not even gettin' tumped outta bed. Besides, I kinda liked it down there. There was a soft rug on the floor and I had plenty of room.
There wasn't nothin' else worth tellin' about the rest of the trip, nothin' that comes to mind. So there you have it, the story about the rainy night that me and Rosebud and Denver spent in a fancy motel in Arkansas.
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